Author Archives: letsgodating

RELATIONSHIPS: Christina Milian Says She and Fiancé Jas Prince ‘Act Like Brother and Sister’

christina milian & jas prince*(Via iDateDaily) – When people describe a couple’s interaction, they’ll generally say “they fight like cats and dogs” or “they’re inseparable like siamese twins.”

It’s very rare that a couple will be described as siblings. In a recent appearance on “Bethenny,” singer/actress Christina Milian talked wedding plans and love with the talk show host.

Things got a little weird when Milian told Bethenny that she and her fiancé, record label executive Jas Prince, “act like brother and sister.”

“He’s a ton of fun we are like best friends, okay this sounds weird guys don’t get grossed out but we act like brother and sister where we are kind of like catty and annoying with each other…but we get it,” she told the talk show host.

When discussing the wedding, Milian believes the wedding will be big due to her fiancé’s large family, but she also insinuated that they’re very much paying attention to the financial aspect of the ceremony.

Get the REST of this story at iDateDaily.

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ACLU Brings Out Big Gunn for Gay Marriage Contest – U.S. News & World Report (blog)

Tim Gunn and the American Civil Liberties Union are trying to make it work for same-sex couples who can't get married at home.

Gunn, the host of fashionable television shows "Project Runway" and "Under the Gunn," was tapped to be the spokesman for the ACLU's "My Big Gay (Il)legal Wedding" contest, which will give $5,000 to five same-sex couples who live in states where their union isn't legal.

"These states need a makeover," a cartoon version of Gunn chided in the contest's promotional video.

"Of course as soon as I heard about it I thought, 'Well who wouldn't want to join up and be part of this?' And I didn't have a moment of hesitation," the fashion great told Whispers.

[READ: When Tim Gunn Comes to Washington, People Run]

So far, more than 35,000 votes have been cast to help 107 couples get married. Participants were asked to tell their love stories and share a creative way they could be carried across the border, into a state where same-sex marriage is legal. The top online vote-getters win.

"The ACLU is looking for five couples to travel by elephant, sky-dive or even hot air balloon across snow, forests and deserts to where it is legal to marry," Gunn explained in the video.

One couple suggested taking a horse-drawn carriage, while another wished to get married on the pedestrian bridge between Nebraska and Iowa. Other ideas included having Lady Gaga officiate, and one couple wouldn't say much except that their dream wedding would involve first-class plane tickets and lots of glitter.

The contest is being used as a way to showcase bigger legal questions.

"I see this contest as a way to highlight the crazy patchwork of protections that exist all across the country, where in some states you can get married and in other states you can't," said James Esseks, the director of the ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender & AIDS Project. "And when you travel from place to place you kind of go from married to unmarried, married to unmarried in a way that seems really ridiculous."

As an example, Esseks mentioned a current case the ACLU is attached to involving a lesbian couple who live in Northern Virginia. Wed in D.C., and with one spouse working in D.C., the couple's marriage isn't recognized when they're home at night.

"When she's at work during the day, she's a married woman with a daughter, and on her commute on the way home to Northern Virginia, in the eyes of the commonwealth, she becomes a single mother," Esseks said. "That's not the reality of her life – she didn't decide to become a single mother."

Aside from custody issues, Esseks noted that simply filing taxes – federally as a couple and in-state as single people – is a huge process.

Turning to the contest, Esseks said he wasn't sure what the legality of an airplane wedding would be, as one set of contestants suggested. However, a straight couple, Esseks said, would never have to worry.

"They wouldn't have to stop and think, 'Gee which state are we over when we get married?'" Esseks noted. "Whereas a same-sex couple would say, 'Hmm, are we over Illinois yet? We can't do it yet, we're still over Ohio,'"

[ALSO: Is She Running? Tim Gunn Thinks Hillary Clinton's Fashion Choices Say Yes]

Overall, Gunn, who's worked with the Human Rights Campaign, Equality Maryland and The Trevor Project in the past, is optimistic.

"You know how slowly plodding change can be and I, quite frankly, think we're doing pretty well," Gunn said.

The contest, which is ongoing until Feb. 16, will just continue the push.

"It's just so preposterous," Gunn said. "Marriage equality should exist in every state."

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Middle school targets relationships, relevance

Indian Hill Middle School is promoting the 3 Rs of education. However, in this case, the reference isn’t to “reading, writing and arithmetic.”

It’s referring to “rigor, relevance and relationships.”

Indian Hill Middle School Principal Josh Kauffman and Assistance Principal Bridgette Ridley made a presentation to the Board of Education during the January board meeting.

Kauffman started the presentation by providing each board member with a Lego block.

The Lego corporation is successful because it focuses on “the brick.” It’s a commitment to focusing on the brick, a business practice that has been successful for the company, he said.

Similarly, the middle school has a focus, and it’s the student, he said, adding that each teacher has been given a Lego brick to remind them of their mission to serve the students.

“It’s a daily reminder, something tactile,” said Kauffman.

Ridley then proceeded to discuss “rigor” in the school, which involves training in a specific type of discipline in the school.

“(We) continue to monitor learning, growth and academic progress,” said Ridley, adding that this year a focus is also on implementing Common Core Standards required by the state.

Ridley also discussed “relationships,” citing the importance of activities such as Teacher Appreciation Week and the recent “No Shave November” in which the male staff at the school were encouraged to grow beards to raise money for charity.

This initiative raised more than $4,000 for leukemia research, according to Ridley.

She said as part of these relationships, the retention of students, who may choose to attend a different school, is essential.

“Loss of students continues to decrease,” she said.

The discussion then proceeded to the topic of “relevance.”

Kauffman said an activity tied into this is called “A Day of Brave Ideas.” This is a day of brainstorming ways to be more effective, according to Kauffman.

Kauffman said there is a continuous push for teacher leadership and engaging in professional development.

He said this is reflected in the amount of participation Indian Hill Middle School teachers have had in state and national conferences.

Kauffman concluded the presentation by detailing the Bring Your Own Technology initiative, in which students are encouraged to bring their own laptops or computer tablets, to school.

This has been very successful, said Kauffman.

“It’s been fun and interesting to watch your growth the last couple of years,” said Superintendent Mark Miles referring to the middle school.

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ACLU Sues Utah for Not Recognizing Valid Marriages of Same-Sex Couples – American Civil Liberties Union News and Information

Utah Must Recognize the Marriages of Over 1,000 Utah Couples Who Legally Wed After Federal Court Decision

January 21, 2014

CONTACT: 212-549-2666,

SALT LAKE CITY – The American Civil Liberties Union, the ACLU of Utah, and Strindberg & Scholnick, LLC filed a lawsuit today in Utah state court on behalf of four same-sex couples who were legally married in Utah after a federal court struck down a state ban, but before the U.S. Supreme Court temporarily halted marriages from taking place while the state challenged the decision. Although the marriages were valid, the state has announced that it has placed recognition of their marriages on hold indefinitely.

"These couples were legally married under Utah law and their unions must be treated the same as any other Utah marriage," said John Mejia, legal director of the ACLU of Utah. "Even our attorney general said that the marriages were entitled to full recognition by the state at the time they were performed. Regardless of what ultimately happens in the federal challenge to Utah’s marriage ban, the marriages that already occurred are valid and must be recognized now."

The lawsuit argues that once same-sex couples are legally married in Utah, they gain protections that cannot retroactively be taken away under the due process clauses of the Utah and United States Constitution.

Some couples not only wanted to get married to demonstrate their commitment to each other, but also to ensure protection for their children. As a married couple, each parent can establish a legal connection to their children even if they’re not the biological parent or previously recognized adoptive parent. Otherwise, Utah law allows single parents to adopt, but forbids an unmarried partner from being recognized as a parent to the other’s biological or already-adopted children, which could have devastating legal implications.

"We acted as soon as we could to make sure our family could stay together in case, heaven forbid, something happens to one of us," said Matthew Barrazza, who is the adopted father of Jesse, the son he is raising with his husband Tony Milner. Milner currently is not recognized as their son’s parent. "We just want the peace of mind of knowing that whatever happens, Jesse has security of knowing his other parent will take care of and provide for him. Now, because the state refuses to recognize our marriage, this peace of mind is again out of reach."

Their adoption process is on hold because of the state’s refusal to recognize their marriage. Other couples worry that they will lose the ability to make decisions for each other or care for each other if one of them is hospitalized.

"The state has reduced these unions to second-class marriages," said Erik Strindberg of the firm Strindberg & Scholnick, LLC. "It is imperative that these marriages be recognized now, so that these couples and their families can receive the protections given to all other legally married couples in this great state."

The lawsuit is separate from the original federal case challenging Utah’s marriage ban, which is on appeal before the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit. That case was brought by the law firm of Magleby & Greenwood on behalf of three other couples. The ACLU filed a friend-of-the-court brief in that case.

"These couples and their families are suffering real immediate harm as long as their marriages are placed on hold," said Joshua Block, staff attorney with the ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Project. "These marriages were validly entered into under Utah law, and the state is legally obligated to recognize their marriages now instead of placing these couples in limbo."

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6 South Florida Couples Sue To Overturn Florida Gay Marriage Ban – CBS Local

MIAMI (CBS4) – Six gay and lesbian couples filed suit in Miami-Dade Circuit Court Tuesday, challenging Florida’s ban on same sex marriages. They want to make the wedding bands that adorned their fingers not just symbolic but legal.

“We stand here for those who have applied for marriage licenses and faced the humiliation of being denied,” said Nadine Smith, executive director of Equality Florida an activist organization that has joined in the couples’ lawsuit along with the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

“We spend our life together as if we are married,” said Melanie Alenier of her relationship of eight years with her partner Vanessa.

The couple, among the twelve people suing the state, has a five year-old son and owns a home together.

“We have been together for 25 years,” said Summer Greene of her relationship with Pam Faeber. They have a daughter and two grandchildren.

Greene said discrimination against Gays and Lesbians evokes her childhood memories of black people not being permitted to stay at her grandmother’s Miami Beach hotel, and Jews banned from membership in some South Florida country clubs.

Kathy Pareta and Karla Arguello have been together for 14 years, have a son, own a home and a business.

“We share our finances together, we go to church together, we serve our community together,” Pareta told reporters, bemoaning the law that forbids them to wed in Florida.

Activists believe the time is ripe for a legal challenge to Florida’s prohibition. Courts across the country have struck down many anti-gay laws, Gay marriage is legal in 17 states and the District of Columbia and the United States Supreme Court last year overturned the federal Defense of Marriage act. Because of that decision same sex couples may not be denied federal benefits.

Plaintiffs in the Florida suit say they are standing on principal by not getting married in states where same sex vows are legal.

“Our family is here, our friends are here, our life is here. This is where we want to get married,” said Todd Delmay speaking for himself and his partner of 11 years, Jeff. “We don’t want to get married in another state.”

There is a deliberate legal strategy behind the suit being filed Tuesday in state, rather than federal courts. A Miami-Dade judge previously struck down a Florida ban on adoption of foster children by gay parents. And under current case law, it appears a ruling against the marriage ban – if upheld by the state supreme court – should make the decision final in Florida.

Among those bringing suit are Don Johnston and Jorge Diaz. Diaz’s father was a political prisoner in Cuba, and he feels he is following in his father’s footsteps.

“I think he would be very proud of us taking a stance on this issue and doing what we feel is the right thing, which is what he always believed,” Diaz said of his dad.

In 2008 a constitutional ban on gay marriage was approved overwhelmingly by Florida voters. Nearly 62% voted for the amendment. Gay rights activists are convinced the courts will overturn what they consider the constitutinal equivalent of mob rule.

“Rights, by their nature, are not to be put up to a popular vote,” said Smith of the Florida Equality group. “It is unfortunate that Florida took that route.”

Governor Rick Scott has never waivered in his belief that marriage should be between a man and a woman. Last June he brushed off the supreme court decision on the Defense of Marriage act, saying it had no impact on Florida.

While campaigning in Miami in June of 2010, Scott boasted to CBS4′s Gary Nelson of his own marital bliss.

“I’ve been married for 38 years,” said a beaming Scott. “I’m against gay marriage.”

The governor, and conservative Attorney General Pam Bondi, will most certainly wage a vigorous defense against the lawsuit filed Monday.

But activists are determined, and believe they will succeed in overturning the gay marriage prohibition.

Don Johnston faced a room full of reporters Tuesday and said he and his partner want to be able to legally speak six simple but profound words: “With this ring, I thee wed.”

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Getting Out Of Abusive Relationships

PITTSBURGH (NewsRadio1020 KDKA) – Over the weekend, a domestic dispute turned deadly in a Westmoreland County apartment complex.

Rodney Golden is accused of slashing his girlfriend, Anita Sabol’s, throat. Golden was then fatally shot after he lunged at police who were waiting for him outside the apartment.

Friends and family of Sabol told KDKA reporters that the relationship was full of abuse and isolation. One friend was afraid her phone call asking Anita to leave the situation sparked the argument that ended so tragically.

KDKA Radio’s Bill Rehkopf spoke with D. Bryant Simmons, author of “How to Knock a Bravebird From Her Perch.” She was able to give a view point from the outside perspective of abusive relationships.

Simmons witnessed abusive relationships throughout her lifetime involving her family and friends. She said that as a friend or family member we are responsible to recognize the warning signs of abusive relationships and help get our loved ones out of the situation.

“There are a few red flags, or warning signs. One is drugs or alcohol abuse, another is if you are in a relationship and you are pregnant and you are still enduring abuse, that is a huge red flag,” Simmons said. “Another red flag is if you are socially isolated. If you have lost contact with your friends or family and you are in a bubble so to speak, where the only person in there is you and him.”

Simmons statements really hit home with the double fatality over the weekend, especially since friends said she was being isolated and wasn’t allowed to talk or see them.

Bill asked about what friends and family may have been able to do differently to free her from this abusive relationship.

“Ultimately, it is the woman’s choice and that is a hard thing for us, the loved ones, to accept. But no woman leaves until she is ready; but what you can do is make sure you have the information for them,” Simmons said. “Make sure you know where they can go to get help, to get psychological help, find a shelter or get legal aid. Those sort of things sometimes if you just hand them that number and tell them, ‘I love you, you deserve better, I want better for you,’ and you have to let them make the decision; but once you have given them that number, its easier for them to pick up and call.”

You can hear the whole interview here:

  • Getting Out Of Abusive Relationships
  • Bill Rehkopf

You can also listen to the Afternoon News on KDKA Radio weekdays 3 p.m. to 7 p.m.

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Six Same-Sex Couples File Lawsuit For Marriage Rights In Florida – Huffington Post

Six same-sex couples and the Equality Florida Institute filed a lawsuit Tuesday to expand marriage rights in Florida, according to a release from the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

The lawsuit in Florida state court argues that the state's ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional because it denies gay and lesbian couples the "legal protections and equal dignity" that marriage provides.

Four of the couples involved in the lawsuit have minor children. Catherine Pareto, who owns a financial planning firm, and her partner, Karla Arguello, are raising their 15-month-old son. They have been together for 14 years.

“Florida is our home, it is where we are raising our child, and where we want to get married," Pareto said in a statement. "Karla and I wish for our family the same things that other families want. We want to build our lives together, provide a safe and caring home for our child, and share in the responsibilities and protections of marriage.”

The six couples are from Miami and the surrounding region. They're represented by the law firm Carlton Fields Jorden Burt, the National Center for Lesbian Rights, and two other Florida attorneys, Elizabeth F. Schwartz and Mary B. Meeks.

"The law should support families, not make it harder for committed couples to support one another and protect their children," said Shannon Minter, legal director at the lesbian rights center. "Barring same-sex couples from marriage causes great harms to their families and children while helping no one.”

Charlie Crist, a leading Democratic candidate for governor of Florida, threw his support behind the same-sex couples in a statement to The Huffington Post.

"No one would want to be told they can’t marry the person they love. It’s an issue of fairness and I’m proud to support it," Crist said.

Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R) did not respond to a request for comment.

The story has been updated with comment from Charlie Crist.

Also on HuffPost:

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Need a mentor? Go to camp!

January is National Mentor month, a time to celebrate and encourage the positive relationships that are critical to the development of children and youth — the positive relationships that are developed and encouraged each year at camp.

The idea of a mentor is an ancient one. In Greek mythology, when Odysseus, King of Ithaca, went to battle in the Trojan War, he placed his friend, Mentor, in charge of his son and his kingdom.Today, Mentor has become synonymous with someone who imparts wisdom to and shares knowledge with a less experienced person. Mentoring relationships are special and often lifechanging.

The camp experience is uniquely designed to foster these relationships. When counselors and camp staff engage with campers, they are not just teaching — they are using the core elements of positive mentoring relationships.

 Camp counselors share and teach through stories and anecdotes.They impart wisdom from their own successes and failures, and offer the insight that comes from experience.

 Camp counselors model appropriate behaviors.They show campers how to play fairly, show empathy, and win and lose gracefully.

 Camp counselors guide campers through the learning landscape of life. They teach the things that cannot be taught in school — how to live with others, how to build friendships, how to lead, and how to work as a team.

 Camp counselors support campers emotionally.They offer reassurance when situations become difficult or overwhelming. Counselors are there to not only lend a hand but to help campers work through difficult moments and feel the sense of accomplishment that comes from conquering obstacles.

These relationships aren’t just a nice addition to childhood and young adult development — kids need them.They need nurturing mentors — people outside of their family who take an interest in who they are, root for their successes, and help them learn that failures are critical stepping stones on the path of success.

Each year for millions of children and youth, those relationships are developed at camp.

For more information about summer camp, visit

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New Website Created for Herpes Networking, Herpes Dating, and Herpes Support

SAN DIEGO, Jan. 21, 2014 /PRNewswire/ -- H Social Club recently launched, an online community for herpes social networking, including herpes dating and herpes support. This new site comes as long-time herpes dating site "Meet People with Herpes" ( shuts down citing a lack of financial, emotional, and physical resources. MPWH discontinued operation of its herpes website on November 1st, the same day H Social Club launched.

What's new and different about H Social Club? While MPWH and the very few other herpes sites focused primarily on dating and relationships, H Social Club comes with a broad appeal to people with herpes and human papillomavirus. Rather than focusing primarily on HSV and HPV dating, H Social Club aims to be a place for general networking with personal and business interests in mind.

On the personal side, the site is promoting an environment where members can interact on more of a friendship level without the awkward, unnatural feelings associated with online dating. It's a place where members can be at ease while communicating across a variety of life's topics. For example, members can start forum posts related to cooking recipes, home buying tips, parenting, fitness, or a wide range of other topics. Or members can simply interact with other herpes & HPV members to build new friendships, find dates, plan herpes events, or seek & offer herpes support.  

The business networking aspect is new and different for any herpes group. H Social Club wants business and employment networking to be a big part of the new site. The expectation is that many people on the site will be interested in supporting other members in the business world, whether that means finding another member to use as your real estate agent, or ordering products from a member who owns a small businesses. This kind of business networking could also accommodate an environment where members announce or inquire about job opportunities within the site.

Most might expect a hefty fee for a herpes & HPV website of this kind, but when launched, H Social Club announced free lifetime memberships to all who join before the promotion ends. The company is hinting at eventually implementing a monthly price in the $5 to $10 range, although the fee will not apply to those who already received free lifetime memberships.

H Social Club has the right theme, the right idea, and the right features. The site's only concern is whether it can gain enough members to reach critical mass. The good news is that this herpes website aspires to build a membership of highly active people. An H Social Club representative clarified their goal by stating "we'd rather have 10,000 very active members than 100,000 idle members. Whatever the outcome, H Social Club is on the right track to being the next top online community for people with herpes and HPV.

Press Release Contact Information:

Lee Williams

Public Relations

H Social Club

(424) 201-5445

"This release was issued through WebWire(R). For more information visit"

Press Release URL:

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ChristianMingle(R) and JDate(R) Release Second Annual State of Dating in America(TM) Report

LOS ANGELES, CA--(Marketwired - Jan 21, 2014) - Singles are becoming more open minded when it comes to gender roles, dating expectations and infidelity, according to a report jointly released today by, the largest and fastest growing online community for Christian singles, and, the iconic community responsible for more Jewish marriages than all other dating sites combined. The two category-leading brands surveyed more than 2,600 U.S. singles between the ages of 18 and 59, on topics of significance in today's complex dating climate.

"In today's modern world there are so many factors contributing to blurred lines and mixed messages when it comes to dating and relationships," says Rachel Sussman, Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Clinical Social Worker. "I see clients every day who are struggling with how to navigate muddled waters in a new or long-term relationship, and this study by ChristianMingle and JDate confirms these issues exist across the country." Sussman has partnered with ChristianMingle and JDate for a second consecutive year to analyze the findings and provide her expert insights.

The definition of cheating in a relationship is not always black and white. Singles reveal there are several shades of grey when it comes to defining infidelity, with women's attitudes in particular becoming slightly more liberal:

  • Eighty-six percent of men and 92 percent of women consider having sex with another person repeatedly as being unfaithful in a relationship.
  • Is sexting acceptable? In 2013, 82 percent of women and 56 percent of men believed texting or online flirting counts as being unfaithful. In 2014, the number of women who believe a flirtatious message is considered cheating dropped significantly to 68 percent, while men observed a slight decrease to 51 percent.
  • In 2014, 90 percent of women, vs. 100 percent in 2013, agree passionately kissing someone else is cheating. The number decreases for men as well, with only 75 percent agreeing vs. 86 percent in 2013. 
  • Cheating is not always a deal breaker. Nearly a quarter of singles would consider marrying someone who was unfaithful to them while dating.
  • Either infidelity or honesty is on the rise. Twenty-eight percent of respondents admit to having been unfaithful in a prior relationship, which is a slight increase from 2013, when only 22 percent admitted to infidelity. 

Findings reveal that while dating preferences and deal breakers vary, hygiene and friends play a significant role in finding lasting love:

  • Don't skip a shower before a date. For men, the top three dating deal breakers are hygiene (35 percent), smoking (24 percent) and weight (14 percent); and for women, it's hygiene (34 percent), unemployment (21 percent), and a tie for third between drinking habits and smoking (16 percent each).
  • Hitting it off with a date is only the first step to long-term success. The majority of singles (66 percent) would break up with someone if he or she didn't get along with their friends.
  • Thirty-nine percent of women think the man should be the primary breadwinner, but only 23 percent of men agree, a decrease from last year's 32 percent of men. Interestingly, in 2013, women didn't feel as strongly with only 34 percent stating the man should be bringing home the bacon.

The hand that reaches for the check on a date may not match traditional expectations, as first-date rules and etiquette continue to progress:

  • Is chivalry dead? Expectations for who foots the bill have changed over the past year, with only 69 percent of men saying the man should pay (vs. last year's 78 percent).
  • Is this a date? Sixty-nine percent of singles are at least somewhat confused about whether their outing with someone they're interested in is in fact a date or not. Sussman says, "My clients are often telling me they're confused about whether they're on a romantic date or casual meet-up, which makes it difficult for them to go into the situation with a clear strategy."
  • If a prospective partner gets drunk on the first date, 72 percent of men would look past it and go out with her again, though it's much tougher for men to get a second chance with women (only 41 percent of women would give a drunk first date a second chance).

"For the second consecutive year, we've turned to singles across the nation to understand the changing norms in dating and relationships, and what makes singles tick in their pursuits for lasting, meaningful relationships," said Greg Liberman, Chairman and CEO of Spark Networks®, the company that owns and operates both ChristianMingle and JDate. "The thought-provoking insights uncover that 'traditional' dating etiquette and standards continue to evolve." 

The stigma of online dating is a thing of the past:

  • Eighty-five percent of singles say online dating is socially acceptable and two out of three singles know people who have met through online dating.
  • Ninety-four percent of respondents believe online dating expands their dating pool.
  • Eighty percent of singles agree online dating is better at finding a match than family members and 78 percent agree online dating is better at finding a match than friends.

To view the full report by ChristianMingle and JDate or to see expert analysis of the results, please visit To arrange an interview with Rachel Sussman or a spokesperson from ChristianMingle or JDate, contact

About ChristianMingle
ChristianMingle ( is the largest and fastest growing online community for Christian singles. In addition, ChristianMingle is a part of Gospel Media Group®, a premier network of online Christian resources which is also comprised of® (, an inspirational faith-based lifestyle destination designed to serve the Christian community and help Christians build and live the life God intended,™ (,™ ( and™ ( ChristianMingle is owned and operated by Spark Networks®, Inc. (

With more than 750,000 active members worldwide, JDate (,, and is the leading online community for Jewish singles, responsible for more Jewish marriages than all other dating sites combined. JDate is dedicated to building and strengthening the Jewish community, and ensuring that Jewish traditions are sustained for generations to come. JDate is owned and operated by Spark Networks®, Inc. (

About Spark Networks
Spark Networks, Inc.'s ( mission is to create iconic, niche-focused brands that build and strengthen the communities they serve. Spark Networks' portfolio of consumer websites is anchored by ChristianMingle and JDate, and also includes, among others,,,,® ( and SilverSingles®.com ( Spark Networks' shares trade on the NYSE MKT under the ticker symbol "LOV" (NYSE MKT: LOV).

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Field Based Account Manager



Updated: Jan 21 2014

Desired Expertise: Business Development, Sales and Marketing Experience: 5+ years Minimum Education: Masters Degree Location: Dallas, TX, US Reference Code: 4032BR Job Status: Active / Open

Job posting bookmarked!

Please login to bookmarkJob Description:


 FBAM Role focusing on selling to the Transport Sector including but not limited to Fleets, OEM Truck Dealerships, Truck Stops, and Heavy Duty Installers and Heavy Duty Buying Group members.

  • Support the Indirect (Distributor Channel) as well as Key Accounts in this Sector.

  • Maintain and develop existing customer relationships.

  • Identify and win new business and win new business using Face to Face selling and negotiating skills to grow the business by increasing Volume, Margin & Premiums in line with targets.

  • Strengthen SOPUS brands and increase market share in respective territory.

  • Provide high level support to Key Accounts.

  • Support local Distributors in prospecting and growing their business.

  • Maintain and develop existing customer relationships.

  • Identify and win new business and win new business using Face to Face selling and negotiating skills to grow the business by increasing Volume, Margin & Premiums in line with targets.

  • Strengthen SOPUS brands and increase market share in respective territory.

  • Provide high level support to Key Accounts.

  • Support local Distributors in prospecting and growing their business.

  • Fill pipeline with qualifying opportunities , identify these opportunities through cold calling, networking and business journals.

  • Deal mainly with Gold and Platinum banded customers. Developing strong and mutually beneficial relationships with our Distributor network.

  • Exceed team and individual KPIs as set by management.

  • Able to demonstrate high-level understanding of the Transport Lubes business.

  • Plan customer calls and visits to provide the appropriate level of service to existing and new customers with a focus on retaining/expanding existing business relationships and acquiring new business relationships.

  • Increase the value for existing Shell customers through Cross, Range and Up Selling.

  • Understand the activity, business and needs of customers, provide sound information and advice on products and services, and to sell and negotiate win-win solutions with customers

  • Plan, monitor and achieve individual and team sales targets (e.g. margin, growth, named customer CVP, and trade debtor target.)

  • Develop, update, maintain, and communicate Account Plans.

  • Effectively use Customer Relationship Management software(CRM).

  • Effectively use the SPANCOP process in sales activities.

  • Be responsible and proactive in HSSE issues that affect the individual, the office/field environment and their customers.

  • Be accountable for own development plan to continuously improve competencies.

  • Role will require a focus on hunting for new business, while maintaining existing accounts. Identifying cross sell and up-sell opportunities should be second nature in this Account Management role.

  • For new and existing customers, define and regularly review relevant customer relationship, behavioral and differentiated services banding and their sales & marketing plan. Credit control duties will be required, as will difficult conversations surrounding shortfalls and contractual penalties.

  • Review & plan customer business, products, service packages, contracts, prices, credit terms, credit limits and debt.

  • Carry out negotiations with customers, preparing quotations and proposals and agree on all operational requirements (including: price, contract, payment terms and services).

  • Ensure all service providers carry out the agreed terms.

  • Ensures that all customer interaction activities are properly logged and updated in the CRM system.


  • Must have legal Authorization to work in the US on a full time basis for anyone other than current employer.

  • Must have a four (4) year degree; Masters Degree preferred.

  • Minimum of five (5) years experience of field sales and selling brand value..

Desired Skills:
Field Base Account Manager

Employment Type: PERMANENT

Applicant Requirements:

In order to apply for this position, applicants MUST meet the following criteria. If your resume does not match these criteria, you will not be able to apply for this position.

Location: North America      

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Key considerations for unwed couples buying a home – Nashua Telegraph

Married couples represent the majority of homebuyers, but more couples are teaming up to buy a home before they get hitched. If they ever do.

Data from the National Association of Realtors show that, on average, married couples accounted for 61.6 percent all homebuyers from 2001 to 2011. By comparison, unmarried couples made up an average 7.5 percent.

Although still a small slice of homebuyers, some unwed couples see positives to buying a home together before getting married.

Teresa Hung, a customs broker in Baltimore, decided to put off getting married in 2012. Instead she chose to buy a home with her boyfriend, James Woody, a retail executive.

The couple wanted to take advantage of still-affordable home prices – rather than splurge on a wedding and continue paying rent for months or years.

“I did want the wedding and all that,” said Hung, 29. “It definitely wasn’t an easy decision.”

Here are some tips unwed couples should follow when they commit to buying a home:

1. Swap financial history

Before considering buying a home with your significant other, share all of your key financial statements. That includes bank accounts, credit cards, student loans, retirement accounts and so on. Also share credit reports and FICO scores.

You’ll need to know of any credit blemishes that could prevent you from obtaining the lowest rate on a home loan, or other potential red flags, such as a high debt-to-income ratio.

2. Agree on what you can afford

Before you hit the first open house, determine how much each person can contribute, especially if you opt to apply for a home loan together. Bankrate Inc. offers online calculators to help estimate how much you can afford based on your income and expenses, e.g.,

One rule of thumb: a house payment shouldn’t be more than 28 percent to 30 percent of a buyer’s monthly income.

With an unwed couple, particularly if one person earns a lot more than the other one does, different approaches may be a better fit.

John Porter and his partner, Horacio Alonso, are in the market to buy a home in Miami together.

The couple has already made it a point to benchmark how much home they can afford based on a percentage of their individual income.

“Our incomes are not equal,” said Porter, who is the co-founder of an organic cocktail mixers company.

He said splitting the costs of the home evenly would not be fair. As a result, the couple decided to base each person’s contribution on 30 percent of their individual earnings, Porter said.

3. Sign a contract

Even if a falling out seems unimaginable, couples should enlist an attorney and draw up a purchase contract before buying a home.

Such a pact should outline details of how much each person is contributing, whether it’s money, taking on a loan or paying to cover maintenance and other costs.

“It has to be very clear who is putting the money in, who is going to do the improvements, so they have a good understanding of ownership,” said Monica Rebella, a certified public accountant in Tustin, Calif.

The pact also can set how the couple wants to split any equity gained in the home, for example.

The contract details can help sort out how much of a financial interest each person has in the home in the event of a split, which could lead the home to be sold or one person offering to buy out the other.

Such agreements don’t have any effect if the couple remains together, notes Jordan Clarke, an agent in San Diego with real estate brokerage Redfin.

“Many different things can happen after the relationship dissolves,” Clarke said. “It’s much better to think about it when heads are cool and everything is great in a relationship.”

4. Understand ownership options

Homebuyers have a couple of options on how to assign ownership on the title to the home. Specifics can vary by state, but generally the title can list one person as the sole owner, or more than one person.

Unwed homebuyers generally hold title as “joint tenants” or as “tenants in common.”

The “joint tenants” option designates equal ownership interest. If a couple specifies right of survivorship to the title, then the interest in the home is transferred to the other person on the title in the event the other dies.

With a “tenants in common” title, the homeowners spell out what percentage of the property each holds. That approach is more common with a group of investors buying a property together because it clarifies how much each investor gets from the sale of the property. It also lets each person sell their stake in the property.

5. Review tax implications

One of the perks of homeownership is being able to deduct mortgage interest payments in your tax return. In the case of an unwed couple filing separate income tax returns, the IRS will allow both to take their home mortgage interest deduction as long as they each have a vested interest in the property, said Mark J. Kohler, a tax lawyer and CPA.

A vested interest could be simply being on the title, or being a guarantor on the mortgage, akin to being a co-signer.

For more details, check out the IRS website: .

6. Reset wedding expectations

Owning a home can come with unexpected expenses that make it hard to save money for a lavish wedding and honeymoon.

Hung, who is not yet engaged, said the biggest shock of homeownership came when her home’s value was reassessed, resulting in an increase in her property taxes.

“It really does set your plans back,” she said. “I thought within a year we would hopefully be able to afford a wedding, but it’s not as quick as we thought.”

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Asheville Married Gay Couples Face Tax Conundrum – WFMY News 2

Jon Ostendorff, Asheville Citizen-Times

ASHEVILLE, N.C. -- Gary Mitchell would love nothing more than to be just another boring, married man in America.

He and David Eck tied the knot last year in Seattle, where same sex marriage is legal, after being together for 21 years.

"We have friends who live in Zurich who grew up in America," he said. "And we said, you know, 'How do the Swiss look at gay marriage and gay people?' And she goes, 'Oh, that's boring. We don't talk about it.' That's what I want. I want to be boring like everybody else. Let's just not talk about it."

But there's been a lot of talk lately about gay marriage.

The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the federal Defense of Marriage Act last year, giving gay couples more rights, including the ability for the first time to file federal taxes jointly. It could mean a savings of thousands of dollars for some.

When the court made its decision, Mitchell and Eck thought it was a step forward. But back home in North Carolina, they are still not just another boring married couple.

The state, since it does not recognize their marriage, also doesn't allow them to file state income taxes jointly. The state Department of Revenue made this rule official in October.

North Carolina's income tax returns are based on each taxpayer's federal filing. People file with the Internal Revenue Service first to get information to use on their state returns.

The state wants same-sex couples to file separately using "pro forma" federal returns. That means the couples have to fill out three federal tax returns - once as a couple, plus as separate individuals. In the view of Mitchell and Eck, that means lying to the state, reporting they're single when they're not.

Mitchell is assistant pastor at First Congregational United Church of Christ downtown. Eck is pastor at Abiding Savior Lutheran Church in Fairview.

Lying is not among the lessons they teach their congregations.

"We are going to file honestly as a married couple even though the state doesn't recognize our marriage," Mitchell said.

"They are going to have to basically tell us what to do because I am not going to lie on my taxes," Eck said. "I'm married in the United States so if they want me to lie they are going to have to tell me, by paper, they want me to be dishonest on my tax form."

They are not alone in facing this decision.

There were 3,224 married same-sex couples in North Carolina in 2010, according to Census data analyzed by the Williams Institute at the University of California School of Law. There are more than 15,000 unmarried same-sex couples in the state.

North Carolina is one of 18 states where people are required to use their federal filing status for state income tax returns, said Brian Moulton, legal director of the Human Rights Campaign in Washington.

Moulton said the patchwork of state tax regulations for same-sex married couples means more time and expense for them compared with their different-sex married counterparts.

"The solution is marriage equality in all 50 states," he said. "Certainly that would resolve these questions for couples and allow them to be treated equally."

That would not be popular in North Carolina, where voters overwhelming passed an amendment to the state Constitution banning gay marriage.

Another solution is to change the state tax law so that it is not connected to the federal system, which is the case in some other states, Moulton said.

Some states have no income tax at all, making the issue irrelevant.

The Asheville-based Campaign for Southern Equality, which supports same-sex marriage rights, says the state's decision to require different tax forms from legally married gay couples is discrimination.

 "This differential treatment by the state of North Carolina creates a burden of unfair taxation, often totaling thousands of dollars, and is a crystal clear example of what discrimination looks like in practice," said executive director Rev. Jasmine Beach-Ferrara. "We believe it is unconstitutional and untenable for North Carolina to continue to deny recognition of legal marriages, marriages that are recognized by the federal government and 19 other states."

It is unclear what might happen to couples like Mitchell and Eck, who plan to file jointly despite the state's regulations.

A spokesman for the state Department of Revenue said the agency works with all taxpayers to get them accurate information. The department would not comment on a specific situation that hasn't happened yet.

The couple has lived in Asheville since the 1990s. Mitchell is a Statesville native and former Asheville City Schools teacher.

Eck is from Pennsylvania and was called to the area to lead his church.

They have a home off Merrimon Avenue, a Terrier-mix named Shiloh, two foster children and a granddaughter.

They feel good about being legally married. It was more emotional than Eck thought it would be.

"It was really emotional for me because as a pastor I have signed many marriage certificates for those straight couples that have been part of the congregation and in the community," he said. "And to finally have somebody sign mine was a really powerful moment for me."

The end of the Defense of Marriage Act means more than just income tax equality. It also gives same-sex couples the right to inherit property without huge tax penalties.

Eck and Mitchell will use Turbo Tax, an electronic program, to file their taxes. The program, at least in years past, doesn't include a field for same-sex married. It only has input for married or single.

"It could be a mess," Eck said. "We don't know. We will find out. Or it could be really easy."

Asheville Citizen-Times

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Chicago African American Relationships Examiner

[unable to retrieve full-text content]I am a byproduct of African American relationships as well as an active participant of them. I am a single mother to a bi-racial child, and currently engaged to a Ghanaian so I have a wide perspective on the differ...

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Do interracial couples still get second looks? –

Do interracial couples still get second looks?

Posted on: 5:00 pm, January 20, 2014, by Lorenzo Hall

RICHMOND, Va. (WTVR) – On a day when the nation celebrates civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., some interracial couples noted inequality is not just a black and white thing.

Mathhews McCoy and Michelle Britos started dating two years ago.

“My dad always jokes. What is she? Hispanic? She’s actually Island Pacificer,” McCoy said. “It wasn’t necessarily ethnicity or color or anything you even think of. You just fall in love with someone you care about. You match in relationship.”

While McCoy said they haven’t experienced any noticeable backlash from family and friends, the couple is sure some people don’t approve of their relationship.

“We still have a long way to go,” Virginia Union University History chair Dr. Raymong Hylton said. While the days of sitting on the back of the bus and drinking from separate water fountains are over, Hylton said racism these days can be more subtle.

“It definitely does exist. We are not in a post-racial society. It may seem like that on the surface, but, in some places… we have the same problems,” he said.

Are you in an interracial relationship? What has been your experience? Click here to share your story with us via email.

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RELATIONSHIPS: 3 Reasons Why Cheating Shouldn’t Always Be a Deal Breaker

cheating in relationship*(Via iDateDaily) – If you rounded up several couples in a room and asked them whether or not they want to be cheated on by their significant other, I’d imagine that most of them would say no.

If you take that same group of couples and asked them whether or not infidelity is a deal breaker in their relationship, you may receive a variety of responses.

Under perfect circumstances, most couples would like to avoid infidelity at any cost; but we all know life isn’t perfect. One thing we must understand is, cheating means different things to different couples.

In some relationships, cheating is defined as intimacy that involves penetration, which means oral sεx, kissing, and/or going to dinner with someone else are not considered cheating. In other relationships, the aforementioned permissible actions are forbidden. While there are many reasons that people should leave a significant other for cheating, there are also reasons why couples shouldn’t leave.

  1. You’re dismantling the family structure: Thousands of families have been ripped apart because one parent’s feelings were hurt after they were cheated on by the other parent. Having children isn’t a death sentence and they don’t live with you forever, so what does it hurt to keep the relationship together for the kids? You do understand that your kid(s) didn’t ask to be born, right? Most adults pretend to have their children’s best interest at heart, but when their children’s other parent upsets them, time and time again the disgruntled parent’s ego overhauls their selfless thinking and turns them into extremely selfish beings. Your children don’t have to know what mommy and daddy are doing behind closed doors, so if mommy and daddy decide to have sεx with other people while living under the same roof, whose business is it?

Get the other 2 reasons at iDateDaily.

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