Dating can be a minefield of questions and concerns, whether you’re on a first date, a third or you haven’t even asked him out yet. That’s why we’re answering some of the most common dating questions with the help of some experts. This week we’re talking about how to tell if he’s into you.
Even after you’ve gone on a few dates with someone, it can be tough to tell whether a guy you’re seeing is genuinely interested. We asked relationship expert, matchmaker and love architect Kailen Rosenberg for her tips on figuring out if he’s truly into you.
He shows genuine interest
If you’re dating a guy that only talks about himself and never seems to ask you any questions, he might not be as into you as you hope. “It’s a good sign if he asks about you, your day and the things that interest you and are of importance to you,” says Rosenberg.
It happened to her: “I can totally tell if a guy is into me based on how much he actually listens. If I’m telling him about my day and he’s texting or not bothering to ask questions, it’s probably not going to work.” Amanda, Tallahassee, Florida
He calls more than texts
Texting is probably the most common form of communication, so of course, any guy you meet will be texting at some point, but he shouldn’t be doing it all the time. “Even if he still texts, it will be to show you that he’s thinking of you,” says Rosenberg. “He’ll call to hear your voice and to ask you out for that next date.”
It happened to her: “I stopped seeing a guy last year because I could never get him on the phone. He would only ever text me, which is OK for making plans and stuff but sometimes you just want to hear someone’s voice.” Deena, Salt Lake City, Utah
There’s no denying sex is fun and a great part of any relationship, but if all he cares about is sex, he might not be relationship material. What you want to see is someone who’s willing to wait, says Rosenberg. “Although he could be dying to get you under the sheets, he’s more interested in taking it slow.”
It happened to her: “My husband and I actually didn’t sleep together for the whole first month of our relationship. It seems like a long time, but I really feel like we connected on so many other levels before getting physical.” Trish, Portland, Oregon
He doesn’t wait more than a day to call
When it comes to dating, there might be countless rules about when you’re supposed to call, but all that just complicates things, says Rosenberg. “When a man is interested, you know. He doesn’t wait around to call and he doesn’t play games,” she explains. “Bottom line, he can’t wait to hear your voice.”
It happened to her: “I hate when guys play games and sit around waiting to call. If you like me, just tell me. Some of my friends think it’s weird when a guy they meet calls right away, but why shouldn’t he? He’s just being upfront, which I think is cool.” Fiona, Buffalo, New York
He makes plans for the future
You can definitely tell if a guy is truly into you when he starts making plans that go beyond, “Hey, want to come over tonight?” “I’m not talking marriage but I am talking weeks out for upcoming concerts, plays, art openings, anything,” says Rosenberg. “He’s already thinking into the future.”
It happened to her: “I knew my current boyfriend was going to be more than a quick fling when he surprised me with concert tickets for a show that was three months away!” Kris, San Antonio, Texas