What’s your opinion on dating multiple people at once? – Not putting all my eggs one basket
Dear Options Open,
Until there is an explicit conversation and decision to have an exclusive relationship, you should, no rather, you MUST continue to date other people. It’s sounds counterintuitive to date around when you’ve grown fond of just one, but that is exactly the reason why you should keep dating. Putting all your emphasis, thoughts, emotions, time, effort etc. on one person before it becomes an actual “relationship” incubates urgency to make this one work. Urgency is a thinly veiled by by product of neediness and desperation, and that combination never equals relationship success.
Keeping your dating options open, even when you really are interested in just one, allows you to keep your emotional equilibrium. The bonus side effect is that the less available you are, the more appealing you become.
This is not to say that I advocate deceiving or stringing anyone along. Casual dating and getting to know someone better before making a decision is fair in the game of love.
I’m a freelance writer, so I work half the time at home, and the other half at my favorite local coffee shop. A few weeks ago, they hired this gorgeous barista who I’ve been crushing on ever since. He gave me his number yesterday, but now I’m torn – what if things go badly? (This perfect spot took me MONTHS to find.) – Highly Caffeinated
Dear Caffeine Junkie,
This all depends on how you handle things when a casual dating situation doesn’t develop into a love match. Are you friends with former love interests? If so, then chances are good that you would be able to keep your favorite hang out and remain amicable if your crush doesn’t pan out. However, if you are the type of girl that attached a stick of dynamite to every “It’s not me, it’s you” conversation you’ve ever had with an old flame, then I suggest you think twice about making a move on the hottie barista if your latte is important to you.
P.S. Why are you taking a guy’s number? If you are pursuing him and not vice versa, I already smell trouble brewing. (pun intended)
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About Angela Lutin:
Angela Lutin is Essentially Angela. Blogger, Advice Columnist and Dating Guru for the social media age—decoding modern love one tweet, text, and like at a time. Angela’s dating advice column, “The Naked Truth,” appears exclusively each week on bocamag.com and in each issue of Boca Raton magazine. Her work appears regularly on the Huffington Post. She can been seen on MTV’s “Made” and Bravo’s hit show, “Millionaire Matchmaker.” Crafting personal dating makeovers for her clients, Angela also maintains a private practice, which turns the romantically challenged into the relationship-inclined. Follow Angela on Facebook or Twitter.